The Transporter Classic Movie Review

Classic Movie Reviews are once a week posts in which I review a movie from the past. It might have to do with a movie coming out that week or just a personal favorite of mine. These reviews may contain spoilers.

transporter

I am definitely using the word “classic” in this week’s classic movie review very loosely, as in it’s an older movie.  I’m reviewing this one in honor of the Transporter reboot, but let’s be honest- it’s in no way a classic movie in the normal sense.

The Transporter is about a mysterious man (Jason Statham) who, yes, transports things, usually for criminals.  During one of his jobs, he breaks one of his rules and opens the package to find a young woman.  He completes the job, but after his employer tries to kill him with a bomb, he goes and rescues her in order to extract revenge.  They work together to stop the trafficking of Chinese women who would be enslaved by the transporter’s former employers.

Now this movie has a ton of flaws, but it does also have some incredibly entertaining moments.  Some of the action scenes, and hand to hand fight scenes in particular, are fantastic.  They are fun to watch and there are several very memorable scenes (the axe fight scene and the oil fight scene come to mind).  The problem with the movie is that besides that and Statham being really good, the rest is actually pretty bad.

First of all, the story is simple and yet, somehow, still doesn’t make all that much sense.  You don’t understand character motivations at all and characters are thrown in there fairly arbitrarily for reasons that are never explained. And most of the characters that are in there are overly cartoonish and cheesy.  Besides maybe Statham you don’t care about anyone in this movie.  The lead girl is incredibly annoying and you spend the whole movie wondering if you should feel bad about wanting something to happen to her.  And even as good as the action is, some of it is poorly edited and has a ton of cuts.

Even with all the flaws, the movie is still very entertaining.  I still have no idea, though, how it spawned 2 sequels, a TV series, and now a reboot.  The fact that this very average series is already getting rebooted is inexplicable to me and leaves me kind of speechless.  Anyway, the first Transporter is by far the best of the series and is very entertaining at times.  It’s nice and short and is a lot of fun.  I just don’t think I can call it good.  So, The Transporter just misses the mark and gets a 2.9/5.

Did I underrate this one? Overrate it? Let me know in the comments.

Check out some actual classic movie reviews: The Exorcist, Mission Impossible, The Terminator, The Lion King

Check out this week’s top 10 list: Top 10 Jason Statham Movies

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